The 12 Days Of Ecchmas – Twelfth Day (Very NSFW)

On the twelfth day of Ecchmas my senpai gave to me…

♫ On the Twelfth day of Ecchmas my senpai gave to me… ♫

Twelve scenes uncensored!

Eleven hot springs sessions!

Ten boobs-a-jiggling!

Nine loli’s lewded!

Eight maids in costume!

Seven shower scenes!

Six bikini babes!

~Five… panty… shots!~

Four sexy stumbles!

Three breasts groped!

Two bunny girls!

And a waifu in her lingerie!


And there it is, I hope you “enjoyed” this silly little song and its accompanying gifs. Merry Ecchmas to all!


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Slow Start – 20 Question Anime Review (Mild Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for Slow Start.

What’s the show? Slow Start (2018).

Slow Start? That name seems familiar… I reviewed the ~noteworthy~ 7th episode of it for my blog in the Winter 2018 season.

Oh yeah! The ‘cute girls doing cute things’ show that had an episode that upped the ante on a teacher x student relationship. Way to jump the gun and alienate anyone looking for a review that’s representative of the show as a whole and not just a single side-plot.

Okay, fine. What’s the show about then? It’s about Hana Ichinose, a shy and nervous first year high-schooler with a secret… she’s actually a year older than everyone else because she had a gap year due to an illness. It might not seem like a big deal, but to Hana it is, in fact it’s the thing she worries about most—well that and making friends and not seeming too boring and living alone and…

Okay I get it, she’s a neurotic girl! I wouldn’t say “neurotic” more skittish and worrisome, she’s constantly assessing herself and her actions in the unfounded fear that her newfound friends at her new school will judge her harshly for them, despite her percieved flaws being minor—almost non-existent to an outsider viewing them.

Right, and who are her ‘new’ friends? Well there’s the gentle and confident Eiko Tokura, who’s the most popular girl in their class. Always clinging to Eiko is the adorable Kamuri—who, despite her looks—is in fact a high-school student too, she’s obsessed with three things; food, sleep and Eiko. Lastly is Tama-chan, an energetic and easy-going girl who sometimes gets into trouble.

Uh-huh, and so being a ‘cute girls doing cute things’ show I imagine one’s mileage on this show is dependent on how much they like these characters? You’re learning… that’s kind of scary…

Well I was bound to pick something up from your incessant ravings about ‘cute girls’. Heh, well yes, what you said is accurate, there is very little plot here even by ‘CGDCT’ show standards. So unless you’re immediately enamoured with at least one of the four main characters you’re unlikely to find a lot to gravitate toward.

And I’m guessing you were “enamoured” with one or more of these characters? Pretty much all of them from the first episode, and that just snowballed as side characters of equal adorableness were introduced.

Oh? Like who? Well there’s Hana’s adult cousin Shion, the busty landlady of the apartment complex Hana is currently calling home. I love the fact that she’s so doting on Hana to the point that friendly ‘rumours’ about her and Hana “dating” arise amongst their group. Also in the apartment complex is Hannen-san, a beautiful shut-in who rivals Hana for the amount of neurosis’ she has, and a number of them a lot more relatable—at least to this reviewer.

You’ve deliberately left one to last, haven’t you? Obviously. Since you went and ~blurted~ it out at the start of the review… Enami sensei is their homeroom teacher, a snarky and apathetic young woman who the ever-flirty Eiko takes a liking to.

…More than a liking, isn’t it? Yes, it’s true, the relationship between Eiko and Enami is something I found astoundingly beautiful and nuanced and fascinating even if it falls into that massively questionable void of ‘Teacher x Student’. The thing that I think this show does so right where other relationships of this nature might do wrong is that I never get the sense that the fact that Enami is her teacher has anything to do with their attraction to one-another. This isn’t a person in a position of power and authority taking advantage of someone weaker and inexperienced. Eiko frequently flirts with older women that she finds attractive and interesting and while flirting is not consent, Eiko is never put in a position where she’s being taken advantage of—

Not even when she wakes up with her hands bound in the teacher’s apartment? Well if you’re going to word it like that of course it’s going to sound lascivious! I’m not going to go over points I explored in depth in my 1000+ word review of the episode, just suffice to say both teacher and student were surprised by the power each other had over one another and that “power” didn’t come from one’s job or the other’s flirting but the feelings that burgeoned between them in this unexpected situation.

So that all happened in episode 7 of the 12 episodes. Does their relationship progress any further after that? Not ever in such a concentrated way as that. But there are a few brief subplots that arise later. Such as in episode 11 at the Summer Festival there’s a pretty intense flirt/finger suck that had me reaching for the rewind button, just to be sure I’d seen what I’d seen. And episode 12 had a cute moment amount sharing a piece of candy that’s not nearly as salacious but italicised in a kind of sadness that suggests at how hard it must be for both of them to carry on this kind of ‘forbidden’ relationship.

Uh-huh, and aside from the whole teacher/student thing, how are same-sex relationships treated in this show? I’m glad you asked! It’s almost like I wrote this question for you! Ahem. Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anime normalise lesbianism this much and it’s so damn refreshing. Yes, it’s pretty chaste, but it never seems to be much of an issue for anyone (other than very infrequently Hana), in fact one of my favourite recurring couples is Tama’s grandmothers, who are her sole guardians and are very much a couple. This isn’t just two women who raise Tama, they live together and act like partners do and no-one so much as bats an eye, nor even raises attention to it—it’s the most normal thing in the world and I love this show so much for it.

But this isn’t a yuri series, is it? Well, no, it’s not. But that doesn’t mean it can’t have yuri-adjacent themes. I’m about 99% sure the mangaka is herself a female of the LGBT community and so it’s only natural and very appreciated that she’s put a lot of her own self into this series. I could be projecting but I’m pretty sure the teacher character is at least semi-autobiographical, at least that’s the way it feels.

At the start of this review you said I “jumped the gun” for talking about the teacher/student relationship because it wasn’t ‘representative’ of the show as a whole, but hear you’ve gone and talked about that very point for nearly half the review! Ah, err… well, it’s only because it is the thing about the show that warrants the most discussion. Yes, I love this show, even when it is something as seemingly low-key as shopping or swimming or cooking but that doesn’t make for a particular ~riveting~ review. Frequent readers already know I’m all about the slice of life shows so I have to talk about something to keep their interest up.

Fair enough. So was there anything else you wanted to mention before we wrap up the review? Just that I think this show deserves more attention for being completely adorable and a lot deeper than some people give it credit for, yes it’s not going to change people’s opinions on the genre but likewise I think it’s worthy of more than just a passing cursory glance.

Yeah, that’ll work… Listen, convincing people to watch slice of life show’s is hard enough at the best of times.

Final score and recommendation? Sadly, I think this show will be forgotten, at least in the West. But if you have even a passing interest in this genre I think there’s a lot to this series that’s lying just beneath the surface. It makes me want to read the manga, which I can’t say I’ve ever really had the desire to do so for any slice of life/cute girl series before, which probably says something—even if I’m not sure what exactly. It might be slow to start but I never want it to finish; 92 out of 100.


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20 Question Weekly Review Week Ending 18th March 2018

A 20 Question Weekly Review for the Week Ending 18th of March 2018.

So what’s new? Not a lot.

Well this is going to make for an interesting post… Then quit the small talk and let’s get to the reason anybody’s reading this—

—Nobody’s reading this. Fuah!

Huh? Ask me about something!

Oh right, so the currently airing anime? What’s good, what’s bad, what’s the same? Everything’s the same! Which is to say everything’s still good like last week and the week before!

Any highlights though? Slow Start was probably my favourite, going back to that forbidden well of teacher x student, or at least the promise of it. I probably could’ve done a whole episode post about it, but since we’re so close to the end I figured I’d just wait until the season is over and blog about the show in a proper full season review, like I’ll be doing for all the shows once they’re done.

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And what other non-seasonal anime did you watch? Scorching Ping Pong Girls! Of which there will be a review coming tomorrow so no spoiling what I thought about it here! I started watching Super Sonico The Animation and, I’m kind of at a loss for words about that one, like I know why it exists, but I’m still like “why?” Also I (finally) watched the biggest anime movie of 2016, your name.

Oh! Will we be reviewing that one? Maybe…

Exciting! So what about manga? Get any? Not just manga, light novels too!

What’s a light novel? It’s like a manga but with a lot less pictures and a lot more words.

Okay, what did you get? In alphabetical order, I got Bakemonogatari 1 (LN), From the New World 1, Murcielago 2, Mysterious Girlfriend X Omnibus 1, No Game No Life 1-3 (LN), No Game No Life Please 2-3, NTR Netsuzou Trap 2-4 and Yokai Girls 2.

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I had to buy a new bookshelf too! But I figured nobody needed to see a picture of that.

That’s a lot! And what did you read last week? Not as much as I’d like as I was writing more, but I read Monster Musume 7, which was a nice return to form after the previous 2 volumes were a little bit lacking. I read a chapter of No Game No Life light novel, which was as expected very close to the anime, just with a little bit more detail. And I read No Matter How I Look At It It’s You Guys’ Fault I’m Not Popular 3, the reason I’m only getting to this now is because I’ve had volumes 6-11 for a while, but not 4 and 5 (for some reason they were always more expensive and I stalk Book Depository for the cheapest prices), so I had to wait until they came down in price, and they finally did so 4 and 5 should be arriving soon.

Great, and I already know the answer to this one but, get any anime merch? A whole box of it from Mandarake in Japan! You can read the detailed list and see pictures of the merch in Part 1 and Part 2 of my Mandarake Merch Madness posts.

You got more merch though, didn’t you! I did! I got a smaller parcel from Amazon Japan; I didn’t make a post about it because I figured I should save something for this post.

So go on then, what’d you get? I got two wall tapestries one for ‘Is It Wrong To Try and Pick Up Girls In A Dungeon’ and one for ‘A Sister’s All You Need’. I got a ‘Classroom of the Elite’ Airi Sakura oppai phone charm and an ‘Interviews With Monster Girls’ Sakie Sato acrylic stand. And for the irl waifu a ‘Haikyu’ and ‘Yuri on Ice’ pillow cases (still need to buy pillows for them).

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Look at those majestic mountains!
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Curse of bad lighting strikes again!
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I don’t know why the brand name is called ‘MOMS’.
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The Victor pillow is so fluffy!

What’s the point of that ‘oppai phone charm’? I don’t know, I saw them when I was in Japan last year and wanted one but didn’t recognise any of the characters, but since then I had watched more shows and so when I saw best girl from ‘Classroom of the Elite’ I had to have it. In hindsight a silly purchase, but whatever at least I’ve got one now!

Okay now that’s all done with now, any site news? We hit 50 followers! Which was exciting, I’m very appreciative of everyone who made it possible by supporting me!

Yay! Anything else? I’m still trying to figure out how to review the 2018 Spring Anime when they start, I’m intending to watch most of the shows to start with but I don’t know how sustainable it would be to review every episode of every new show in the 20 Question Format, but I still do want to make observations regarding every new episode I watch.

Yeah, no one’s going to want to read 5 or more 20 Question Reviews every day. Hmm, I’m sure I’ll think of something.

So how would you rate the week ending the 18th of March 2018. Busy! Filled with merch! A great week in anime too, it’s exciting that all these shows I’ve been watching are coming so close to their conclusions! Let’s just hope they actually have satisfying conclusions! Thank you all for reading and have a great day!

Danganronpa: The Animation – 20 Question Anime Review (Mild Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for Danganronpa: The Animation.

What’s the show? Danganronpa: The Animation (2013).

Dangan-what-what? Yeah, sure close enough.

Great, so what’s it about? It’s like if somebody made an Ace Attorney game emo.

I don’t know what those things are. Geez, I sometimes forget how out of the loop you are. Um… it’s like if Law & Order was directed by Tim Burton. Is that mainstream enough of a comparison for you?

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Quite. I’m surprised you knew what they were. I didn’t, I had to Google “what crappy shows old people like” and “what things old people think are edgy”.

You’re in fine form today. So I’m still not exactly sure what the show is about? So a bunch of high school kids are kidnapped by a maniacal black and white bear and are held hostage, with their only escape being if they “graduate” which entails murdering one of their other students and getting away with the crime. Every time there’s a murder they hold a “class trial” to determine the killer, if they correctly determine the murderer he is executed while the others remain safe, if they are wrong though the murderer gets to leave while everyone else is executed.

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Yikes! Talk about high stakes! The highest. Only…

Only what? Only it kinda never feels as high stakes as it should, sure the aesthetics and the music and the quick editing give it the illusion of impending doom, but you’re never really worried about the protagonist, which is a big problem for this anime but it’s understandable considering it’s based on a video game.

Why does being based on a video game hinder it so much? Well in a game, the stakes are on you the player, you are the protagonist, and if you stuff up, then it’s game over. Those are stakes you can get invested in, but in an anime there’s not going to be a sudden game over screen for the protagonist, you know how many episodes there are and thus it will keep going until the story is over. It’s like playing a game with cheats on, it’s still fun, but there’s no risk, at least not to yourself.

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Well when you put it like that it sounds like a bit of a failure. Maybe, but there’s no other way they could have done it, and besides there are still high stakes for the other students, they are murdered and executed, even the nice and cute girls. So as long as you can get invested in the other characters then there’s still plenty of tension and drama.

And can you? That’ll depend on the individual but yeah; they’re a deliberately quirky and assorted bunch so you’re bound to find at least one person to latch onto.

Well that’s good. So are the “class trials” at least fun to watch? I suppose, I mean they’re deliberately misleading to give as many “gasp!” moments as possible, the result is seldom obvious and the executions are handled, creatively to say the least…

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I sense another but? But, and I know it’ll probably sound like I’m harping on about it but their presentation feels more like watching a video game being played then something cinematically dynamic. I just feel like they could have loosened it up a little so it didn’t feel so much like the game, and I haven’t even played the damn thing but it feels like I have because of it. Maybe that was the intent but I didn’t find it as visually interesting as it should have been, which is a shame because I do like the art-style.

So you don’t like the way its plotted and you don’t like how visually a main component of the show is presented, other than that? Other than that it’s a really good show, I know it might sound like I just took it to town, but those are issues that while considerable, don’t undermine the interesting characters or the unique setting or even the core mystery of why they are being held there which offers a solid backbone to the series.

So favourite characters? Probably Chihiro Fujisaki the shy computer programmer, Celestia Ludenburg the gambling gothic lolita or Toko Fukawa the gloomy novelist.

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Always picking the cute girls, so predictable. I know right? I’m just so safe with my choices!

Why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something from me? You’ll get no spoilers from me today!

So why isn’t the protagonist your favourite? No, the protagonist is never the favourite! Besides, he looks like he’s out of Beyblade or something.

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Is that a bad thing? I don’t know I never watched it; I just like being belligerent sometimes.

Rightio. So would you recommend it? Sure, it’s by no means perfect but it’s fun and unpredictable (to an extent) and provides some quality thrills and entertaining characters. Even if it does often feel shackled to the source material more often than not. A little short of the bullseye but nothing to lose your head over; 78 out of 100.

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My Hero Academia – 20 Question Anime Review (Mild Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for My Hero Academia.

What’s the show? My Hero Academia (2016).

And what’s it about? In a world where superheroes are almost commonplace, out protagonist Izuku Midoriya dreams of one day becoming a hero like his role model ‘All Might’ the greatest of all superheroes, except he was born without a ‘quirk’ the very thing that makes ordinary people attain powers.

Well that’s sad… Don’t worry, he meets All Might in person and because Midoriya is such a sweet soft boy with a heart of gold and the bravery of a Hinox, All Might takes him on as an apprentice with the intent to bequeath his powers to him when he becomes strong enough.

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Wow, spoilers much? It’s fine. It reveals as much in the Wikipedia synopsis, it’s like three episodes of set up I saved you.

“Saved me”? Don’t tell me this is a negative review. No not at all, My Hero Academia is one of the rare shonen anime that doesn’t feel like it’s wasting your time.

Ouch, take that other shonen anime. P.S. what’s a shonen anime? Right, I sometimes forget you’re a filthy normie.

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Please stop calling me that. No. Also shonen is anime or manga targeted at teenage boys, and generally speaking of the action genre and usually with lots of episodes/volumes.

So it’s a good show? Yeah, it just takes a little bit of time getting to the meat of what the show’s going to become. It’s the kind of show where the first season feels lacking with hindsight and an excellent second season in the equation.

Well without spoiling too much, what is the “meat”? It’s a school anime!

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Right. And the other student heroes are so much more interesting than the protagonist (sorry Midoriya!)

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the one’s you think are more interesting than the protagonist are female? Sir! You wound me! Darest thou think I so shallow-

Who’s your best girl? Froppy! Rainy season hero has stolen my heart with her ridiculously long tongue and laid back persona!

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Figured as much… No! You tricked me! There are plenty of interesting male characters too! Katsuki Bakugo treads this fine line between hero and villain with his explosive personality, so that’s interesting to watch and Tenya Ida is like if Sonic the Hedgehog wasn’t a douchebag and had appropriate sized calf muscles for the amount of running he does. And then Mr Hot and Cold himself Shoto Todoroki, you know every time he’s on screen I think it moves a little.

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Was that a ‘Seinfeld’ reference? Of course not, I don’t even know what that is, I only know anime. Besides I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Uh-huh, you know, I think I actually believe that you’re not just in it for the ‘sweet waifus’ this time. I’m proud of you. But there are sweet waifus and I will appreciate them thusly. Ochako makes me feel weightless as I look upon her beautiful face. Momo can create a lot more than just inanimate objects seeing her in that superhero costume of hers if you know what I mean! Oh and Toru Hagakure, I almost forgot she was there! *winky face* And then there are a bunch others, but seriously all I need is Froppy to hop on over to me and I’m all set!

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Right. So enough with the characters otherwise we’ll be here all day. How is the show? It’s honestly great, with moments of brilliance but the first season feels constricted by a sense of reigning things in for the sake of future encounters. It’s like in a video game when the main villain appears in a cut scene for a minute just to remind you they are there, just teasing bigger and better things to come.

So it’s a season of set-up? Not so bluntly as that, there’s still big action and character development and great heroic moments for most of the characters, but because it’s a part of something that you know instinctively is going to run a long time the stakes are never as high as they probably should be.

Recommended though? If you haven’t watched My Hero Academia yet you should probably go back in time and watch it before you read this review, because the first season is better when you don’t know that it gets better later. But if you don’t possess that superhero power than I guess you’ll just have to do your best to forget about all this… I think I know a sensei who can help you out with that…

Well for the rest of us, score please? A veritable gluttony of fun and interesting heroes on the roster is the solid foundation to a truly great show with ample action, pathos and personality. My great anime sense is tingling, 89 out of 100.

Oh no! This review was only 19 questions long? What will we do?! Ah you see, now you’ve discovered my superpower. Padding out this particular review format with jokey questions… yeah, it’s a pretty shitty superpower all things considered…

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Teekyu! Season 1 and 2 – 20 Question Anime Review

A 20 Question Anime Review for Season 1 and 2 of Teekyu!

What’s the show? Season 1 and 2 of Teekyu!

Two whole seasons? You spoil me! What’s the occasion? No occasion, it’s just it’s another one of those 2-minute long anime’s so why not cover two seasons of 12 episodes each!

Fair enough. So what’s it about? Tennis!

Oh god, you’re reviewing another sports anime? You’re not going to have another mental break down like you did when you reviewed Haikyu!! Are you? Daijoubu daijoubu! This one has cute girls!

Of course it does. So how does a 2-minute long sports anime actually work? By being about almost everything except tennis! It’s a gag anime.

That’ll do it! I’ve never watched a show so committed to just doing whatever the heck they want, well maybe Pop Team Epic, but the short form nature of this anime allows it to throw a lot more jokes out and at a much quicker pace, so if one jokes lands flat you only have to wait another 3 seconds and there will be a new one to take it’s place.

Sounds kinda tiring. Yeah… it can be. The subtitles move so quickly as a result of the manic pace of the dialogue that unless you’re a really fast reader you might have to keep your finger on the pause button, otherwise you’re going to miss things.

But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a fast-paced anime? Maybe, but I can read 672 words per minute at 90% accuracy so I don’t have any issue watching this show at its normal pace.

Is this a job interview all of a sudden? #justsaying

So it’s funny? It can be, extremely, in fact. Though I have a feeling this is the kind of show where you either connect with the humour immediately or it just falls flat throughout. But it’s the commitment and the rapid-fire line delivery that really helps elevated what could otherwise be considered just random nonsense.

And the characters? I know I’ve asked this before with regard to 2-minute anime’s but can you really get to know characters on such a short time scale? In this show, no, but they’re not really trying to be anything other than four high school girls who each have a clichéd stereotype to fill in order to mine as many jokes from the associated personality type. They are sketch show characters basically, it’s not trying to be anything deeper and it doesn’t need to be.

So no point in asking more about the characters then? The purple haired one is called Yuri, who’s the serious, straight man character; she’s kind of the audience analogue as she ‘reacts’ to the zaniness of her fellow Tennis Club members. The pink haired one is Kanae the most random one; she tends to do things that break conventional logic or even the laws of physics. Nasuno, the brunette is the spoilt rich girl whose immense wealth enables some of the clubs crazier ideas to come to fruition. And Marimo, the blue haired one is the pervert with a heart of gold.

Right. And what was that about breaking the laws of physics? I did say they do whatever the heck they want for a show, even if it makes no sense, if there’s the possibility of it getting a laugh then they’ll do it!

Can’t fault the commitment. So I take it there’s just the two seasons then? Haha… oh my no.

More?! As of the writing of this review there’s nine seasons plus two spin offs, which no end in sight!

Dear lord. But why didn’t you review all 9 seasons of the show? I mean I can’t imagine there’s much variation between them, from the sounds of it it’s just like a sketch comedy show? You really think I’m going to be able to keep up this review pace forever? Having a few short shows like this in the back pocket is going to make my job a heck of a lot easier than watching full-length series’!

Can’t blame you for that, I suppose. So which is better season 1 or 2. Easily season one; I had far more laugh out loud moments in the first than the second. Plus it seemed to have a slightly slower pace season two was on the verge of being too fast for me to keep up with. Though I did appreciate that season two had a bit more continuity between episodes, not that it made any more sense, just that episodes seemed to flow into one another in a nice fashion.

And does a show like this allow for a best girl? Pfft, of course! Where there’s girl’s there’s best girls.

Good to know? And this show’s best girl? Easily Marimo, can’t fault the lewd!

Probably should have guessed as much. Final verdict? If you have trouble keeping up with fast moving dialogue or need your comedy to come from personable, relatable characters and realistic scenarios, this is not the show for you. If you do however like things random and borderline insane and don’t mind ending up with a slight headache afterwards than Teekyu’s your show! Season one aces with an 89 out of 100, while season two couldn’t break the set but still delivered a great point with 82 out 100.

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Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid – 20 Question Anime Review (Moderate Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid.

What’s the show? Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid.

Okay, what’s it about? It’s about a virus that infects some teenage girls; the Armed Virus which manifests in one of two ways, either it makes the girl an ‘Extar’ which causes them to transform into a weapon when sexually aroused or a ‘Liberator’, who are able to wield the Extar and thus possess great power.

Whoa, back up there a second. Girls ‘transform’ into weapons when sexually aroused? I think you’re going to need to be a bit more specific and also… huh?! Like a sword, or a gun, you know weapons.

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But… but that’s impossible? This is anime, nothing is impossible!

Okay, fair. But do they at least explain how it works? Like is it magic or is it science, or… Nope!

I… ah, you’ll have to give me a minute to try and figure this out. Take your time.

Nope, it doesn’t make sense. But do go on, what’s the plot? You joke, but it does have a plot. These ‘infected’ girls are all kidnapped from their homes by a shadowy organisation and forced to live on an island with their own kind until their deemed fit to return to civilization. Of course it’s never that easy, the school hierarchy set up on the island is violent and corrupt, the girls are quick to temper, not to mention nobody’s actually ever left the island. It’s basically a prison full of hormone filled teenage girls who get each other off and then fight.

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And you wonder why people don’t take anime seriously. It’s a good show!

I find it somewhat ironic that your previous review to this one was you railing on how sexist Darling in the FranXX is but this is fine. It’s not a coincidence that I decided to review this one straight after that rant of a blog post; besides, the fact that there are no male main or supporting characters on this show means the gaze is different. There aren’t any men objectifying the female characters, meaning their power, their goals, their ambitions, their hopes and dreams all come from their selves and each other.

No male characters huh? Not a one.

Makes sense, less distractions when masturbating. It’s not like that! Yes, this show is fan-service driven, in that it was created for the sole purpose of exhibiting fan-service to its audience, but at least for me, the fan-service is so ridiculous, so over-the-top that’s its seldom titillating and frequently hilarious – whether that’s intended or not I still find that to be a positive.

So, girls making out with girls in order to transform and fight? Are they all bisexual or lesbians or is that kind of thing not even touched upon? Ah! Here you see, there is complexity herein, our protagonist Mamori Tokonome (the redhead) is ostensibly straight, but she’s conflicted between what’s “normal” for her, i.e. heterosexual desires and interests, and the raw physical reaction she gets when she ‘drives’ with her partner Mirei Shikishima (the taller, blonde one). Who by the way, has a tortured backstory of her own, not that you even asked!

This is literally the first I’m hearing of her! What’s her deal then? Well she used to be a mercenary/assassin for the evil corporation that ended up sending her to the exile island, plus she lost her previous partner in their last mission and Tokonome reminds her of her, hence her immediate protective instincts when they arrive on the island.

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Fair enough. Also she’s fifteen years old.

F**k off. No, really. It’s a plot point.

You know, there’s some days I think I’m just beginning to understand anime and then there’s days… it’s like I’m back to square one. Also there’s a shy girl whose power is that she keeps growing in size while under stress until she ends up being like Godzilla sized! Oh, there’s so many gifs I wish I could show you but so many nipples!

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Please, stop! Oh and this girl has N-cup sized breasts and can turn into a motorcycle!

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Right. I’m going, bye now! But we’re not done yet, how am I supposed to wrap this review up?

Oh you’re a smart cookie, I’m sure you’ll think of something, or not, see if I care! These are seeming less and less like questions…

Taxi! For the shear absurdity and audacity of the fan-service it deserves a recommendation alone, assuming that’s something you can get past. The storyline isn’t remarkable but it’s serviceable and keeps a level of interest up throughout that other ecchi titles may not even bother with. Plus the bond formed between Mamori and Mirei comes from a place of genuine consideration for each other and they are genuinely likable characters. Just sit back and let the oppai wash over you, 73 out of 100.

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Darling in the FranXX Episode 1-6 – 20 Question Anime Review (Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for Episode One to Six of Darling in the FranXX.

Please note: This review is no longer representative of the author’s feelings on this show for an up to date review please read: Puberty & Robots – A 20 Question Reassessment of Darling in the FranXX (Episodes 1-15)

What’s the show? No, just no, I don’t want to do this…

What do you mean? We’re here we have to do it… Ugh, fine, you really want to do this? Fine! Just give me a minute to get into an appropriate character for this, okay?

‘Character?’ You’re not usually in character for these reviews are you? No, but this is a special circumstance. Bare with me a second.

Ah, fine, sure, take your time. *messes up hair, slumps shoulders, readies fingers above keyboard, becomes a virgin again* Okay, I’m ready, or whatever bro…

Okay… what’s the show? Tch! Only the best effin’ show on the planet my dude!

Right… It’s like Studio Trigger’s ‘Darling in the FranXX’ my dude. Tch! What cave have you been living under?

Are you even speaking English? Totally my dude, and seriously did you watch that gif I sent you because I’ve been jackin’ it til I’m red raw!

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Please, I regret everything; can I press the abort button? No doing my scro! We’re in this til the bitter end, did I mention how Darling in the FranXX is like killer JO material my bro, my scro, my dude.

Okay, stop. Just time out. I have no idea what you’re trying to go for with this particular character, but it doesn’t seem very realistic. What do actual fans of Darling in the FranXX really sound like online? You SJW cucks are not intellectually prepared for something as complex and revolutionary as this show, if you’d bother to not get triggered (heh!) for half a second you’d realise that the allegory is….

Wow! Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse… But just wait you beta-cuck; I haven’t even got to show you my fanfic where Trump and Putin pilot a FranXX together.

Oh my f***ing god. Can we just get the regular guy back; you know Cactus Matt or whatever his name is. Oh so now you want to hear my opinion, huh?

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Yes, for f**ks sake, yes! Cool, so Darling in the FranXX is a pretty good show, I mean when it’s pandering to the worst of the anime fandom, namely stunted immature males who think women amount to nothing more than the subject of physical attraction and sexual connection. The sad thing is that if the writers and animators had consulted oh, I don’t know, precisely one woman in the production of their show they might have had the obvious idea to put the protagonist Hiro in the ‘subservient’ role in the FranXX robot Strelitzia alongside 002 rather than have him ‘dominating’ and perpetuating the obnoxious degradation of women for the sake of what amounts to a Saturday morning wank-fest for twelve year old fanboys. Heck I’d even settle for it just being 50/50 where half of the FranXX have the female characters in the demeaning position and the other half the male in said position. But that’d never happen, no, there’s no money to be made in that right?

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I feel like I walked into a pool that’s a mile too deep for me. Everyone who thinks Darling in the FranXX is a show beyond criticism because it’s made by a talented animation studio seriously needs to get an attitude adjustment! It’d be like giving Studio Ghibli a pass if they just suddenly decided to make rape themed hentai!

Wow, okay, I feel like you need to say something positive about this show or else we’re going to be blacklisted from the Crunchyroll anime awards in 2019. High ambitions there… Besides, there’s plenty good I can say about the show, the world is intriguing, the characters are mostly likable, the setting is appropriately mysterious and the action is well animated. Oh and just quietly the opening theme is gorgeous.

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So what’s the problem? OH I’M SORRY WAS THE MESSAGE TO SUBTLE FOR YOU? There’s literally giant robot mechs who are controlled by two person crews, the female of the crew is posed in doggy style position while the male ‘connects’ to her from behind. At which point he literally becomes ‘the brains’ in total control of her body. And don’t give me that bullshit excuse that the robot doesn’t work unless they’re perfectly in sync, thus it’s about equality or something. It’s just fan-service, and I know what you’re about to say next…

But you love fan-service; some of your favourite show’s are full of fan-service, how come this show in particular irks your ire while others get a pass or even a hearty recommendation? It’s hard to put it into words! Maybe I am being a hypocrite, but it just feels so degrading here, and so pointless and so… so…

So? It’s like when you see a father out with his son and the father has one of those shirts with a half naked woman on it, and you get that kind of worrisome, nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach like, “wow, bet that kid’s going to grow up with some real positive opinions on women.”

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So it’s about the patriarchy? Now, I’m definitely not going down that rabbit hole.

I feel like we haven’t really gotten anywhere with this review. Just kind of made fun of people who like a certain show, that seems kind of mean spirited. And for that I will apologise, not everyone who watches and likes this show fits into easily definable stereotypes. And far be it from me to criticise people for something they love, even if I do think its representation of women is more harmful than almost every other anime I’ve seen. The point of this post was twofold, to let my opinion be known and to say that no anime is beyond criticism. It doesn’t matter if it’s made by a beloved animation studio or whatever, every piece of media that’s produced should be able to be analysed critically from all points of view and discussed to understand why certain things effect people and not others.

And this is only the first 6 out of 24 episodes. Exactly, we’re a quarter of the way through; it’s not beyond redemption. Maybe the show will have some grand and important things to say about the place of women in our society by the time it’s finished. At which point I’ll gladly say I was wrong about it. Or maybe it’ll just remain a beautiful looking but deeply flawed and problematic contribution to the art form of anime. Either way, I’ll be watching and waiting to see what happens.

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Classroom of the Elite – 20 Question Anime Review (Mild Spoilers)

A 20 Question Anime Review for Classroom of the Elite.

What’s the show? Classroom of the Elite (2017).

And what’s it about? Imagine a high school with the best facilities, self contained from the outside, government run and funded designed to cultivate youngsters to become the next generation of leaders both in business and politics.

Sounds kind of strict. You’d think so except the school lets the students have absolute free-reign over their own appearance (save for the uniform) gives them a bundle of ‘points’ each month which can be spent on the plethora of stores and services located on campus and basically let’s them do whatever they want as long as they don’t break any of the school ‘rules’.

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Interesting! So what are the rules? Yeah! Like the school is going to tell them that!

There’s always a catch… of course. So how do they find out the rules? The hard way, break enough of the unwritten rules of the school and you’ll find yourself with no ‘points’ for the next month, or worse face expulsion.

Well that escalated quickly… Such is life.

So who are our protagonists? Kiyotaka Ayanokouji is the male protagonist, he likes to fly under the radar a bit, seemingly content to be middle of the pact. He’s well, to be perfectly honest, exceedingly bland as a protagonist but not all is as it seems…

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Sounds mysterious. This show is at it’s best when it keeps you guessing so consider this as much a spoiler free review as I can manage.

So it’s a mystery? In part, bit of drama, bit of intrigue, bit of romance, bit of comedy. It does it all pretty well.

So back to the characters, who are our female leads? Well, Suzune Horikita is our trademark tsundere with the sharp tongue. Kikyou Kushida is the bubbly popular girl with a hidden agenda. And Airi Sakura is the shy and quiet one with a secret of her own. They all have complicated relationships with Kiyotaka, our protagonist that slowly develop and entwine as the show goes on.

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It’s not a harem is it? Hmm, no I don’t think so…

Why so uncertain? Well, remember how I said its genre was a bit of everything? Well that extends beyond plot genres and into specific anime genres, yes it’s still a drama at the end of the day but it has elements of harem, slice of life and ecchi but never enough that you could call it one or the other absolutely, and never enough that it leans into the associated tropes. It’s very much it’s own beast, and all the better for it.

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It’s not perfect though? No of course not. It paints itself as some larger than life drama with all kinds of high stakes but at the end of the day these are just high school students, in a ridiculously wealthy government funded high school, so it’s not until very late in the season do things even begin to feel like they’ll have consequences and even then it’s all a matter of suspension of disbelief in the situation they’ve been put in.

How do you mean? It’s like… it’s like an episode of ‘Survivor’, it’s all fake, it’s all carefully produced and monitored and controlled, but if you buy into it and get attached to the characters and their relationships and dynamics even fake stakes can still be interesting and entertaining and even tension filled.

Wait, how do you know what ‘Survivor’ is, you never watch anything but anime? I had a gap year in the early 2000’s where all I watched was shitty reality shows… I’m… I’m not proud of it, okay?

Heh. Guess you are human after all. Ugh, don’t remind me.

Anything else I should know before watching the show? There’s a lot of characters, like at least twenty with speaking roles and probably double appearing on screen.

Wow, that sounds like it could get confusing. You’d be surprised, the characterisation and character design is distinct enough that only occasionally do you go ‘who’s that again? Oh right that one’.

Oh jeez, I almost forgot. Best girl? Sakura! Fake glasses and all.

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Cool. Final verdict? Classroom of the Elite is great, but if you’re not sold by the first or maybe second episode chances are you’re not going to fall for its charms. So readily it flits between genres that it could almost be seen as being indecisive but the writer in me appreciates its fluid nature and tonal dissonance. It’s an easy binge watch for accepting minds and is filled with interesting characters and riveting scenarios. Entertainment worthy of A Class, 85 out of 100.

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