BanG Dream Is Better Than Love Live! – A 20 Question BanG Dream Review

What’s the show? BanG Dream!

“BanG Dream!” huh? Is… is this a porn? I wish. It’s a music anime, as in cute high-school girls forming a band and writing music and trying to get successful, etcetera.

Okay, fair enough. I’m just so used to you reviewing perverted things, it’s a reflex so sue me. Tch.

So what got you watching a music anime, last time I checked you weren’t the biggest fan of Love Live! School Idol Project? Okay, first of all Love Live is fine, it’s good even, don’t pretend like I don’t like it. It’s just kind of forgettable and repetitive and predictable, but it’s still cute and fun and why are we talking about Love Live in a BanG Dream review?

Sorry, I was just trying to ascertain your state of mind when going into this show. Okay fine, so I already mentioned this in my Love Live season 1 review I was in Japan—specifically Akihabara—and Love Live merch was EVERYWHERE, like literally there were trucks blaring Love Live songs rolling through the streets it was so damn ubiquitous. And as I was perusing the shelves of various anime stores, wading through the plethora of Love Live merch there was by the side the ~occasional~ piece of merch for a show called BanG Dream, a show with much cuter girls who actually play instruments!

Oh no you didn’t! Yeah yeah I know it’s lame to like a musical act over another one (especially a fictional, animated band) because they actually play instruments but I’m an old man and I still inherently respect anyone that bothers to learn play music.

So wait, what does there being a lot of Love Live merch in Akihabara got to do with you starting to watch BanG Dream? I just wanted to see what this other show was like. It’s like going to a store and seeing a whole bunch of Coca Cola on the shelf with big displays and promotions. And then seeing a can of Tab Cola or RC Cola relegated to the side, sometimes you just want to see what the less popular alternative is like.

Right. So all that out of the way, all the external stuff, how is the show? Yeah it’s good.

Just… “good”? So here’s the thing, I really really like the characters here and I actually love that these characters spend this whole series going from mediocre amateurs to kind-of-okay amateurs, rather than going from the bottom to the top with little to no interference. I love that they have performance anxiety and self doubt and family troubles and history with other bands, it’s all a rich tapestry but…

But? But it’s still kinda boring, actually no that’s not fair… it’s kind of ~minimalistic~, if there’s generally a plot point that an episode wants to cover it does so and does little else. It’s very laid back with regard to narrative progression and not in a ‘Laid Back Camp’ way. But… it’s still better than Love Live…

You keep bringing it up. Why don’t you make this a comparison piece? Like ‘BanG Dream is better than Love Live’. Isn’t it a bit late for that we’re halfway through the review—though I guess I have spent a lot of it mentioning Love Live already so it’s not entirely out of the blue… okay, I’ll do it!

So what about BanG Dream is similar to Love Live that it deserves to be compared to it? They’re both about high-school girls who want to enter a super competitive musical field, both shows are about them training to be better and both shows centre around a school/hobby balance, also both shows put an emphasis on friendship.

Right and so it doesn’t seem like you’re just bashing the show what does Love Live do better than BanG Dream? It’s characterisation is more immediate and distinctive and it’s arguably more easy to binge-watch. I had trouble watching more than 2 episodes of BanG Dream on any one week.

And what does BanG Dream do better than Love Live? There’s more of a sense of how hard it is to become even semi-professional, these girls work so hard and by their final audition (after 2 failed ones) they still kind of sound pretty average and the show isn’t afraid to make them sound like this, their singing is raw and unpolished and their instrumentation is amateurish. And they get upset when they fail, they cry and get angry with themselves, there’s a real sense of passion in their craft. Plus I feel like this show is a lot more realistic, it could be argued of course that Love Live isn’t trying to be realistic but I appreciated the more low-key approach to this kind of story. It might be a small thing but the fact that their outfits for their first ‘big performance’ look hand-made and kind of cheap looking was very endearing, especially compared to the other bands.

Other bands? Mmhmm, the plot of the first season is the girls of Poppin’ Party (that’s the name of their band) want to perform at an all female music venue called ‘Space’, except they have to impress the Owner before that’s going to happen. But throughout the series we get to see a bunch of different girl bands and they’re all unique and interesting and it’s just another thing that helps set this show aside from Love Live, these other bands offer variety to the music and aesthetics.

But there’s obviously a pacing problem if you can’t watch more than 2 episodes in a row without getting restless. Undoubtedly, the whole ‘it’s hard work, there’s lots of training involved’ shtick isn’t relegated to brief montages, it’s whole episodes, it’s the whole damn series and so the fact that there is little improvement from where they start to where the season ends is a double edged sword—It’s realistic, it’s honest, it’s surprising but it’s not exactly the most riveting thing in the world.

Kind of like this review… kind of like this revi—hey!

If the point of these music anime is to sell singles and albums but they aren’t especially good. Isn’t that a bit of a problem? They are good though, the OP and ED song by the band is polished, professional and catchy as heck, but i think the way we’re supposed to look at that is that those songs are of the band when they make their professional debut some years from now. This first season is but a small part of a planned franchise. (Seasons 2 and 3) were recently announced for a 2019 air date.

Fair enough. Anything else you wanted to add before we wrap this review up? Rimi is best girl! Oh and I never want to hear “twinkle twinkle little star” ever again…

Right. So final score and recommendation for BanG Dream!? The aesthetic differences between this and Love Live are all a matter of opinion, whether you prefer one show’s characters or songs to the others is entirely down to the individual. Critically speaking however, I found myself more invested in the story and character development in BanG Dream as it wasn’t nearly as predictable as the aforementioned idol show. Both shows are far from perfect, but I found just the entire experience of watching BanG Dream more pleasant, fulfilling and rewarding—even if it suffers from serious pacing problems. This is one dream I look forward to having again, 79 out of 100.

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Himouto! Umaru-Chan – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? Himouto! Umaru-Chan (2015).

And umm… what does all of that mean? Buckle up! You’re in for a Google search response! So first of all ‘Himouto’ is a pun of sorts, it’s a blending of the words ‘imouto’ which means ‘little sister’ and ‘himono’ which is ‘dried fish’. The himono part only makes sense if you’re familiar with Japanese slang, because ‘himono-onna’ is a term used to describe girls who are proper when out in the world but slobs when they’re at home.

To be fair I eat chips like that too.

I’m almost sorry I asked. It makes sense in context of the show but it’s a very specific reference I’m kind of surprised that some dumb Western producer didn’t try and make a bad translation title of it for the release over her.

Let’s not go down the ‘translated title’ wormhole again, yeah? Fine.

So what’s the show about? Well Umaru is the perfect high school girl, she’s smart, she’s popular, she’s sporty and she’s beautiful. Except that’s her outside persona, because as soon as she gets home she transforms into her real self, a selfish, slovenly otaku who loves video games, junk food, cola and anime more than anything else in the world.

#OtakuLyf

‘Secret Otaku! Umaru-Chan’. What are you doing?

Oh just coming up with Western titles for the anime. Please don’t, you won’t like me when I’m rant-y.

Nobody like you when you’re rant-y. Also thank god this is a written format, I can’t imagine how many misunderstanding would come from saying ‘rant-y’ out loud. Let’s move on, shall we?

Indeed. So who are the other characters on the show? Well immediately there’s her long-suffering brother Taihei, he’s a 20-something salaryman who works hard, cooks all the meals and does all the chores around their apartment. He’s basically the opposite of Umaru in every way but he still loves his little sister very much.

She’s pure evil…

Uh oh. No! Not like that, there’s no sister complex going on here… well not yet, here’s hoping that never eventuates because he can do so much better.

*incoming best girl alarm sounds* Ebina! Oh my sweet waifu, it’s not because you’ve got a massive rack that I love you so, it’s because you’re shy and sweet and honest and kind and also have a massive rack.

Kawaii!

‘A Challenger Approaches!’ Oh but then there’s Kirie! Delicate, nervous, prone to bouts of rage. Oh, don’t make me choose!

Kawaii!

And there’s another one? Right… *flicks through imaginary papers* Sylphynford? Sounds more like a sexually transmitted disease. All right, fess up, who let this one-dimensional character into the best girl contest?

Savage. Listen, without getting in to too much spoiler territory, I do like her character in Season 2 a lot more than in the first season, but basically she’s Umaru’s rival and she’s loud and obnoxious and one-note. Hmm, kind of like Umaru herself come to think of it.

*crickets chirping*

What? You don’t like the protagonist? That seems like an awfully big obstacle. Indeed it is, and I suppose initially it comes down to how much you can identify with such a lazy, self-centred character and that will determine your mileage with this kind of show. But, even though I was cold towards her in the first half dozen episodes, she does have moments of redemption that grow in size and significance the further you go along. Just don’t go in expecting likability from the outset.

Fair enough. Anything else I should know? This show is really good at expanding its world, gradually but necessarily. Just when you think a set routine of characters is starting to grow repetitive they’ll introduce new characters like new friends for Umaru or co-workers of Taihei, all of which add complexity to the otherwise fairly simple slice of life format.

She always gets what she wants in the end.

And? And it’s just funny, sure a lot of the comedy comes from obvious places but even in her ‘Himouto’ form, Umaru is an entertaining creature to witness even if more often than not it comes at the expense of her poor brother. Though it certainly helps if you’re an otaku too, because there are a lot of references to the culture that go by unexplained for the uninitiated.

So not a show for a filthy ‘normie’ like me then? Probably not!

Censorship references.

But for the rest of your readers? Even if you find yourself initially turned off my Umaru’s overall attitude, give it a half dozen episodes and see if you don’t warm up to the show. Because while at the end of the day it is a show about Umaru, the characters that surround her all have such worth and are interesting and fun in their own right. It’s a rich tapestry that I’d gladly hang on my wall, even with all the creases. 86 out of 100.

“Tapestry”? What are you talking about? It’s an anime thing, don’t worry yourself about it.

Yuru Yuri – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? Yuru Yuri

Ah! I’ve been around you long enough to know what both of those words mean? Oh?

So in the west this show is called ‘Laid Back Lesbians’? *face palm*

What? Was I wrong? You’re wrong in that no it’s not called that in the west, it’s still Yuru Yuri. But you’re not wrong in that’s pretty accurate for what goes on during most episodes.

I won’t even feign surprise that you’re watching a show like this. Like what? Don’t judge a book by its cover; this show is way more than just girls love. It’s first and foremost a comedy, and a genuinely hilarious one at times too!

Fine, I’m listening, go on. So the main characters are four middle school girls-

Stop, I’m sorry, did you say middle school girls? That’s perverse even for you! And there you go transplanting your heteronormative assumptions on things that shouldn’t even be seen as the least bit sexualised but because you consider lesbianism a fetish as opposed to an actual way of life you can’t separate something as honest and pure as self-discovery from what you search on RedTube whenever women’s sport comes on the TV!

I… I’m sorry, I just assumed because you watch so many fan-service anime that this was just one and the same. There’s literally no fan-service here unless you consider girls exploring their complicated and raw feelings for other girls to be fan-service, in which case I suggest you leave.

No, no I’ll stay. Again, sorry. It’s fine, I forgive you this time.

So who are our characters? Protagonist; Akarin! Akari has a serious issue, she’s very forgettable, to the point where the show itself forgets she’s even a character in her own show to hilarious comedic affect. Like it’s hard to put it into words but the way this show treats its protagonist is akin to high art. It’s brutal and cruel and unexpected but insanely funny and entertaining.

And the rest? There’s Kyoko who is fun incarnate, but also incredibly clueless at times. A great deal of the one-liners and randomness that make up the comedy comes from her. Then there’s Minami who is the strong, silent type, she’s the level headed one of the group but can’t resist a pun. And then there’s Chinatsu, who’s the super cute one who has a passionate crush on Minami despite the constant suggestive advances of Kyoko who idolises the pink haired princess because of her resemblance to her favourite anime character a magical girl called Mirakurun.

So that’s everyone of importance? Not even close! Then there’s the members of the student council, Ayano is the vice president and is as straight laced as the come but she’s secretly in love with Kyoko, even if she’ll never admit it. Ever by her side is Chitose who is a total pervert and imagines Ayano and Kyoko in suggestive situations at every available moment, which causes her near-fatal nosebleeds. And then there’s ‘doth protest too much rivals’ Sakurako and Himawari who just seriously need to get laid. And I could go on, but well, there’s a couple more characters who benefit from the surprise of their discovery in episode 9 of the season.

Things got complicated, and quick! Don’t presume that because it’s all cutesy on the surface and is about middle school girls that it’s somehow less complex than the myriad other school based shows out there.

Lesson learnt. So what’s an average episode of Yuru Yuri contain? Making fun of Akari’s non-presence no matter the situation. A lot of talking, then finally a plot developing, then doing everything to subvert those expectations, then something totally random. Intersperse some sexual tension and unreturned feelings and heaping dollop of total nonsense and you have the average episode of Yuru Yuri.

Dare I ask who your best girl is? Usually if I have to think about the matter longer than 10 minutes it usually means I don’t have a best girl.

What?! Shocking, I know. I think because the characters relationships are so dependent on one another, not just emotionally within the show but structurally externally too, I can’t really choose.

Maybe it’s because they’re middle school aged you feel weird about picking one as a ‘best girl’? Nope, no weird feelings about that at all.

For once I’d just like you to have a normal response. No chance!

Fine, whatever. Anything else to add? The final episode of season 1 is one of my favourite episodes of any comedy or slice of life anime’s I’ve seen so far, it starts off strong and keeps building and building, I was in awe of what I was witnessing. If I were reviewing that episode alone I’d probably give it 99.

Wow, high praise indeed, but what about the season as a whole? Final score? If you’re put off by the title or the genre or the ages of the characters at least give it a go, you’ll know pretty quickly if it’s the show for you as the first couple of episodes are very indicative of the rest of the season. Personally I couldn’t get enough of it and am glad there’s another two seasons to watch. Unforgettable, 92 out of 100.

Danganronpa: The Animation – 20 Question Anime Review (Mild Spoilers)

What’s the show? Danganronpa: The Animation (2013).

Dangan-what-what? Yeah, sure close enough.

Great, so what’s it about? It’s like if somebody made an Ace Attorney game emo.

I don’t know what those things are. Geez, I sometimes forget how out of the loop you are. Um… it’s like if Law & Order was directed by Tim Burton. Is that mainstream enough of a comparison for you?

Quite. I’m surprised you knew what they were. I didn’t, I had to Google “what crappy shows old people like” and “what things old people think are edgy”.

You’re in fine form today. So I’m still not exactly sure what the show is about? So a bunch of high school kids are kidnapped by a maniacal black and white bear and are held hostage, with their only escape being if they “graduate” which entails murdering one of their other students and getting away with the crime. Every time there’s a murder they hold a “class trial” to determine the killer, if they correctly determine the murderer he is executed while the others remain safe, if they are wrong though the murderer gets to leave while everyone else is executed.

Yikes! Talk about high stakes! The highest. Only…

Only what? Only it kinda never feels as high stakes as it should, sure the aesthetics and the music and the quick editing give it the illusion of impending doom, but you’re never really worried about the protagonist, which is a big problem for this anime but it’s understandable considering it’s based on a video game.

Why does being based on a video game hinder it so much? Well in a game, the stakes are on you the player, you are the protagonist, and if you stuff up, then it’s game over. Those are stakes you can get invested in, but in an anime there’s not going to be a sudden game over screen for the protagonist, you know how many episodes there are and thus it will keep going until the story is over. It’s like playing a game with cheats on, it’s still fun, but there’s no risk, at least not to yourself.

Well when you put it like that it sounds like a bit of a failure. Maybe, but there’s no other way they could have done it, and besides there are still high stakes for the other students, they are murdered and executed, even the nice and cute girls. So as long as you can get invested in the other characters then there’s still plenty of tension and drama.

And can you? That’ll depend on the individual but yeah; they’re a deliberately quirky and assorted bunch so you’re bound to find at least one person to latch onto.

Well that’s good. So are the “class trials” at least fun to watch? I suppose, I mean they’re deliberately misleading to give as many “gasp!” moments as possible, the result is seldom obvious and the executions are handled, creatively to say the least…

I sense another but? But, and I know it’ll probably sound like I’m harping on about it but their presentation feels more like watching a video game being played then something cinematically dynamic. I just feel like they could have loosened it up a little so it didn’t feel so much like the game, and I haven’t even played the damn thing but it feels like I have because of it. Maybe that was the intent but I didn’t find it as visually interesting as it should have been, which is a shame because I do like the art-style.

So you don’t like the way its plotted and you don’t like how visually a main component of the show is presented, other than that? Other than that it’s a really good show, I know it might sound like I just took it to town, but those are issues that while considerable, don’t undermine the interesting characters or the unique setting or even the core mystery of why they are being held there which offers a solid backbone to the series.

So favourite characters? Probably Chihiro Fujisaki the shy computer programmer, Celestia Ludenburg the gambling gothic lolita or Toko Fukawa the gloomy novelist.

Always picking the cute girls, so predictable. I know right? I’m just so safe with my choices!

Why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something from me? You’ll get no spoilers from me today!

So why isn’t the protagonist your favourite? No, the protagonist is never the favourite! Besides, he looks like he’s out of Beyblade or something.

Is that a bad thing? I don’t know I never watched it; I just like being belligerent sometimes.

Rightio. So would you recommend it? Sure, it’s by no means perfect but it’s fun and unpredictable (to an extent) and provides some quality thrills and entertaining characters. Even if it does often feel shackled to the source material more often than not. A little short of the bullseye but nothing to lose your head over; 78 out of 100.

K-On! – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? K-On!

And what’s that supposed to mean? Keion!

And what’s that supposed to mean? ‘Light music’.

Right. Now that we’ve got that sorted, what’s it about? It’s about five high school girls who start a ‘Light Music Club’ and eventually form a band called ‘Afternoon Tea Time.’ And it’s also one of the most wholesome anime’s ever made; it’s just so damn precious. *heart eyes*

‘Light music’, sounds kind of dull. You bite your tongue heathen! ‘Afternoon Tea Time’ legitimately rocks, like this isn’t bubblegum J-pop with instruments of questionable existence, they play their instruments, you hear every instrument in the band and the music is so very good. I don’t normally do this but here’s a link to one of my favourite songs (it’s also the end credits song for season 1).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN-ov_YQqmA

Wow! That was really good; they rock more than Nickleback (not that that’s difficult). I don’t know what that is.

Consider yourself lucky. So who are these girls? Didn’t you watch the whole video?! It introduces them all there!

I meant what are their characters, not just what instruments do they play? Fair enough. The protagonist is Yui, she’s lead guitar and lead vocalist (but not the vocalist of the song I linked – just to confuse you a bit!) she’s clumsy, a total air-head and not a very diligent student. Mio is bassist and second vocalist; she’s incredibly shy, easily spooked but very popular with other students due to her beauty. Ritsu is the drummer and president of the light music club (self appointed) she’s energetic, jokey but forgetful at times. Mugi is the keyboardist; she is kind, gentle, eager and comes from an incredibly wealthy family. Azusa is the rhythm guitarist and a year younger than the other four girls; she is very serious and focused at times, reserved but has also a lot of insecurities.

Great, so the show is a…? Slice of life, while there’s exceptional attention to detail with the animated rendition of the instruments and they do occasionally practice and play music, the majority of the show is just the girls talking and eating fancy cakes and drinking tea in their clubroom.

So pretty standard slice of life fare? Exactly! In other words… bliss.

Right. So no complaints about the show then? Oh I have a few, at least as far as this first season is concerned. The pacing is a bit off at times; some episodes have less going for them than others and the comedy can be a little inconsistent and pedestrian.

Hmm, didn’t expect that. Isn’t this show kind of highly acclaimed, is it underserving of such praise? Of course not, besides season 2 is a literal masterpiece, and improves every single issue I had with the first season, but let’s leave that ‘til another review!

And now we present the award for ‘best girl’ *drumroll* *opens envelope* and the winner is… Mio-chan! As if there was any doubt…

Well we’re kind of out of things to discuss, and we’ve got like 7 questions left, what should we do? When in doubt, do as the K-On girls do, eat sweet treats!

Oh that looks lovely *anime eating sounds* Mmm, give me some too. *more anime eating sounds*

How about some of this? Don’t mind if I do!

*anime eating sounds* *anime eating sounds*

Mmm, that was delicious! We should do this more often! Yeah, I mean I’m sure the people reading this don’t mind that we wasted their time because we couldn’t think up more questions!

Oh, right. The readers, haha, forget they were there… hello! Sorry for wasting your time! Please address all complains to the site admin @Cactus_Matt on twitter.com

Well, final verdict please? If you haven’t watched this classic slice of life anime already then you owe it to yourself, if not for the perfectly likable characters, charming setting and relaxed atmosphere then the legitimately awesome music which runs the gamut from cutesy to cool. It’s not without its flaws but it’s easy to overlook the flaws when taking into consideration how amazing it gets in season 2. If that sounds like an odd recommendation, it’s because it is and this has been an odd review. Anyone else hungry? Make sure to make room for seconds, 84 out of 100.

Teekyu! Season 1 and 2 – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? Season 1 and 2 of Teekyu!

Two whole seasons? You spoil me! What’s the occasion? No occasion, it’s just it’s another one of those 2-minute long anime’s so why not cover two seasons of 12 episodes each!

Fair enough. So what’s it about? Tennis!

Oh god, you’re reviewing another sports anime? You’re not going to have another mental break down like you did when you reviewed Haikyu!! Are you? Daijoubu daijoubu! This one has cute girls!

Of course it does. So how does a 2-minute long sports anime actually work? By being about almost everything except tennis! It’s a gag anime.

That’ll do it! I’ve never watched a show so committed to just doing whatever the heck they want, well maybe Pop Team Epic, but the short form nature of this anime allows it to throw a lot more jokes out and at a much quicker pace, so if one jokes lands flat you only have to wait another 3 seconds and there will be a new one to take it’s place.

Sounds kinda tiring. Yeah… it can be. The subtitles move so quickly as a result of the manic pace of the dialogue that unless you’re a really fast reader you might have to keep your finger on the pause button, otherwise you’re going to miss things.

But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a fast-paced anime? Maybe, but I can read 672 words per minute at 90% accuracy so I don’t have any issue watching this show at its normal pace.

Is this a job interview all of a sudden? #justsaying

So it’s funny? It can be, extremely, in fact. Though I have a feeling this is the kind of show where you either connect with the humour immediately or it just falls flat throughout. But it’s the commitment and the rapid-fire line delivery that really helps elevated what could otherwise be considered just random nonsense.

And the characters? I know I’ve asked this before with regard to 2-minute anime’s but can you really get to know characters on such a short time scale? In this show, no, but they’re not really trying to be anything other than four high school girls who each have a clichéd stereotype to fill in order to mine as many jokes from the associated personality type. They are sketch show characters basically, it’s not trying to be anything deeper and it doesn’t need to be.

So no point in asking more about the characters then? The purple haired one is called Yuri, who’s the serious, straight man character; she’s kind of the audience analogue as she ‘reacts’ to the zaniness of her fellow Tennis Club members. The pink haired one is Kanae the most random one; she tends to do things that break conventional logic or even the laws of physics. Nasuno, the brunette is the spoilt rich girl whose immense wealth enables some of the clubs crazier ideas to come to fruition. And Marimo, the blue haired one is the pervert with a heart of gold.

Right. And what was that about breaking the laws of physics? I did say they do whatever the heck they want for a show, even if it makes no sense, if there’s the possibility of it getting a laugh then they’ll do it!

Can’t fault the commitment. So I take it there’s just the two seasons then? Haha… oh my no.

More?! As of the writing of this review there’s nine seasons plus two spin offs, which no end in sight!

Dear lord. But why didn’t you review all 9 seasons of the show? I mean I can’t imagine there’s much variation between them, from the sounds of it it’s just like a sketch comedy show? You really think I’m going to be able to keep up this review pace forever? Having a few short shows like this in the back pocket is going to make my job a heck of a lot easier than watching full-length series’!

Can’t blame you for that, I suppose. So which is better season 1 or 2. Easily season one; I had far more laugh out loud moments in the first than the second. Plus it seemed to have a slightly slower pace season two was on the verge of being too fast for me to keep up with. Though I did appreciate that season two had a bit more continuity between episodes, not that it made any more sense, just that episodes seemed to flow into one another in a nice fashion.

And does a show like this allow for a best girl? Pfft, of course! Where there’s girl’s there’s best girls.

Good to know? And this show’s best girl? Easily Marimo, can’t fault the lewd!

Probably should have guessed as much. Final verdict? If you have trouble keeping up with fast moving dialogue or need your comedy to come from personable, relatable characters and realistic scenarios, this is not the show for you. If you do however like things random and borderline insane and don’t mind ending up with a slight headache afterwards than Teekyu’s your show! Season one aces with an 89 out of 100, while season two couldn’t break the set but still delivered a great point with 82 out 100.

Haikyu!! – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? Haikyu!!

Hmm, two exclamation marks… does that mean this is the second season? No, it’s just, okay I don’t know why they decided to stylise this with two exclamation marks but unlike other anime that add another exclamation mark to denote and differentiate a second season from a first this is assuredly a first season.

‘Kay… So what’s it about? Men’s high school volleyball.

Right. And why are you watching it? Your interests tend to be of the ‘cute girl’ persuasion. I don’t know, it’s highly acclaimed or something…

Why do I get the feeling you’re reviewing this under duress? It’s not like that, well, not exactly. I do admit a passing curiosity for highly rated anime, even if they are literally at the opposite end of my interest spectrum.

You don’t like sport? I like going to the Dentist more than I like sport, I like family gatherings with racist old people more than I like sport, I like stubbing my toe in the middle of the night so hard I think I’ve died more than I like sport.

Okay, I get it you really don’t like sport. Good, just so you know where I stand on the subject.

Loud and clear. So I take it this is a negative review. Ehhhhh, no, actually. *whispers* the show’s actually pretty damn good.

What’s this?! Shut up, I’m a deep and complex individual; I’m allowed to like things that I thought I wouldn’t.

No you’re not, you’re a pervert. So what gives? So like the writing in this show is really good, and it’s really funny and the characters are all unique and charming and charismatic in their own special way, plus it’s well animated…

That’s great, you’re broadening your horizons! BUT I DON’T WANT TO LIKE IT!

My god, you’re such an insufferable child. Just accept it and move on. I think you underestimate how much I hate sport.

No, no, I get it. So are we going to actually go into any detail about the show? Volleyball. High school boys. Underdogs. Ambitions. Ego. Teamwork. Camaraderie. Trying your best. Training. Defeat. Victory. Fight! Fight! Fight!

And the characters? Umm… Short ginger, good at fast… grumpy genius, team player need much. And the rest… bald and hyper… coachy mc coachface… grey haired one my irl waifu likes too much… blonde tall glasses… freckles mcgee… another short one and old young wuss brute… that’s all of them right?

This is really hurting you isn’t it? Please, I need my cute girls; all this testosterone is doing a number on my libido. Quick! Give me 50cc’s of ‘Yuru Yuri’, stat!

No! We’re seeing this through ‘til the end, whether it kills you. Rest assured it’s killing me, on my death certificate it will read ‘Cause of Death: Cute Girl Deprivation’.

What about the team’s manager, she’s a cute girl right? But a small refuge amidst an ocean of dick.

Now now, no need to be crude. What say you in conclusion? Haikyu’s good, great at times even. It’s not for me, that is for damn sure, but regardless of that I would definitely recommend the show to almost anyone. Most of the match’s go on too long but that’s of virtue of it being a faithful manga adaptation, personally I would have preferred it be 20 instead of 25 episodes but I’m probably in the minority with that opinion. And even with those ‘flaws’ considered it’s still worth a watch, even for the most ardent sports hater. It may not be an ace but it sure isn’t a foul, 79 out of 100.

Now, was that so hard? Maybe we can incorporate more of these sport anime’s into your roster of reviews in the future! Quick! I need a fix of cute girls, stat! Pump them directly into my veins, I’ll take whatever you’ve got, I’ll even settle for the cheap shit, yeah that’s right Kemono Friends will tide me over ‘til I get some of the real stuff.

Or not… My god, this has got to be your worst review ever. That’s not a question by the way, that is a fact. Ah… mmm, cute girls take away the images of all those sweaty sport boys… yeah that’s the stuff right there…

Attack on Titan – 20 Question Anime Review

What’s the show? Attack on Titan (2013).

And what’s it about? Well… it’s a dark and violent anime set in a world where all of humanity has to live behind a giant walled city because outside are massive humanoid like creatures called ‘titans’ that straight up eat people. Some of them are like 10 feet high whereas others can be up to 200 feet high, its seriously scary and seriously messed up! The story follows three teenage aged friends who have their world turned upside down by a titan attack and end up joining the military to fight the titans to help save what’s left of their downtrodden civilization.

Wow. That sounds cool! Nah, it sucks.

Wait, what? But you made it sound so good! Shhh! Listen… I can’t actually admit to liking Attack on Titan, I can’t risk that kind of hit to my rep.

Huh? What are you talking about? If people hear that I actually like this show then they’ll think I’m just latching onto what is “popular” amongst the “casual” anime fans. And I can’t do that! I’ve only just gotten into Bakemonogatari fan-circles, if they find out I like stuff like this I’m done for!

Heh, I never thought you were this shallow. I’m not. It’s the opposite in fact, only jocks and white people watch AoT, I’m way too indie for that. In fact that reminds me I’ve got to check in with the Paranoia Agent original DVD owner subreddit I set up, but I suppose you’ve never even heard of that anime… huehuehue.

So you’re an anime hipster who secretly is into all the stuff that everyday anime fans are into? Well let’s not go crazy, it’s Attack on Titan we’re talking about, it’s not like I’m suddenly going to DBZ meet ups!

So why is Attack on Titan a taboo among anime aficionados? Normies man, f***ing normies…

Right. Well let’s pretend that you’re not into AoT. I’m totally not!

Indeed, so that said, what are some things you just hate about it? Just hate *wink*. Ah… oh! I get you, heh. Right, so I just hate how the main characters of Eren, Mikasa and Armin have so much intertwining backstory and that they care so much for each other. Like you’d think Eren seeing his mother be brutally devoured by a titan would harden him up but instead he’s being all vulnerable and troubled by the memories of it. Pfft, as if you’d be a three-dimensional character, totally lame!

Ah, yeah, right! Lame! Umm, so what else? Well the action is just like… so… totally…

Yes? I mean, the action it’s just…

Err, it’s totally lame right, go on and tell me about how lame it is. Yeah? Argh! I can’t! I can’t keep this flawlessly brilliant and convincing ruse up! I really like Attack on Titan, I do! Damned be to all those reckless haters, conjuring up bile for a series just because it’s popular! So what if it is? Sometimes popular things are also good, popularity isn’t always mutually exclusive of quality, this isn’t high school, this is anime!

And the action, then? The action is fantastic, the fluidity of the animation as the characters fly about with their Omni Directional Mobility gear and begin slicing at the Titan’s with their swords and then invariably some oft forgotten side character gets blindsided and you watch as they become TitanChow^TM before your very eyes, and it’s all so visceral and impactful and dramatic.

Well you don’t need to sell it to me anymore I’m already so sold it’s being giftwrapped! Baka Gaijin…

I beg your pardon? Sorry, it’s a gut reaction, I’m sure it’ll pass in time.

Mmm, right. So anything else you want to add? Attack on Titan did nothing wrong. I mean not literally, I was just doing a meme right there. It’s not perfect, there are some serious pacing abnormalities throughout, but that’s more to do with it being such a faithful adaptation of the manga. And it’s depressing too, which I wouldn’t expect anything less but just be wary of it, especially if your go to anime usually involves ‘cute girls doing cute things’.

So no cute girls here then? Mikasa’s a BAMF, and also dayum…

Geez, I thought I’d like you reviewing something mainstream but somehow your more insufferable than when you’re reviewing niche weirdness and obsessing over ‘cute girls’. Just be thankful I’m not reviewing Fairy Tail any time soon.

I can’t even begin to think what that means. So, final score? Forget whatever presumptions you have about the super popular Attack on Titan, whether you’re an anime connoisseur or completely new to anime entirely, AoT is a dramatic and violent but wholly satisfying and tense place to start. A colossal and hard fought, 92 out of 100.